By A. (they/she)
“I think I’m asexual.”
It was, back in 2018, a pretty simple statement for me to make. It still took approximately two years and a whole lot of messy living to internalize and begin to embrace it. And when I say messy living, I mean messy. Calling your best friend in tears (at odd hours of the night) kind of messy. Falling for a beautiful girl (who lives over a hundred miles away) at Pride kind of messy. Navigating romantic relationships (with varying degrees of success) while being open about your asexuality for the first time kind of messy. Questioning yourself constantly kind of messy.
The more I talk to other aspec people, the more I realize that many of us often have a very twisty and windy road to embracing the aspec aspect of our identities. It can take time and a whole lot of work to love yourself as you are, and it’s often an ongoing process.
This site was created for people to share their experiences with identifying as aspec, and I hope that in turn, others can see parts of their own stories reflected back to them and know that they’re not alone. To know that so many of us are undergoing that same messy process of learning to love who we are, including the aspect of the aspec.
Your identity is your own, as is your story. The asexual and aromantic spectrums are full of diversity, and while you might relate to some of the things I talk about as a biromantic ace, there are plenty you might not relate to at all. Your experiences with your identity are unique, and you never know who might laugh along with a story you tell, saying, “oh my god, I always think that, too,” and in that, feel seen and understood.
Maybe your journey to identifying as aspec isn’t messy at all. (If that’s the case, will you please tell me the secrets of the universe? I am but one confused and overwhelmed creature trying to maintain human form, honestly.) Whatever your story is, I would love to hear it.
AoA is just getting started, and we’re building this site on the content that individuals create and send in for us to share. Whether it’s poetry or photography, informational articles or personal essays, this is a platform to express the aspec aspect of yourself - and I am so, so excited to make this happen with you.
You can send in questions and comments to aspectsofaspecs@gmail.com and, if you’re interested in submitting content, fill out our google form here.
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